lonely, yet preferring insulation? What gives?
Letting you in on the theme of Sunday's lesson from Ecclesiastes 4:1-16: the necessity of holy connectedness.
If, in fact, connectedness covers a multitude of sins, why, then, might we be so averse to being known or taking the time to know one another?
It's not that there aren't any good reasons for our hesitation to be more courageous or bold in becoming involved in one another's lives (and messes), but surely we can isolate a few reasons why the preference for isolation still exceeds our desire for connection.
Ideas? Guesses? Shots in the dark?
posted by Patrick Lafferty @ 8:23 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Fear is a great adverse motivator. To be involved in another's life means that you must allow someone to be involved in yours, as well. Past pain or rejection, or even just the knowledge that other people are fallible (as are we), can be scary enough to keep us away from seeking true connection.
I know, personally, I was perhaps overtaught the necessity of not putting trust in other flawed people, but trusting only in an infallible God. This is true in the overall understanding of life, but can be detrimental to Body health if overstressed. In my case, I held on to this so tightly that it cause me to be wary of building relationships under the assumption that they would necessarily fail. And when a few of those relationships did fail, it drove me even further from being willing to seek connection out of fear of being hurt.
Thank you for your comments this morning Patrick. I could go on what seems like forever talking about how isolated people are these days. It's so tricky. Sometimes almost demanded by society; and then other times, people are criticized for being too nosey, when in fact they are really just trying to develop a meaningful friendship. People don't want to be rejected - we talk about this all the time at the university level - suitemates will IM each other for 10 feet away - it's safer. So how do we get around it? As Christians, embracing our joy in the Cross is a firm foundation for community. I still see a lot of people who are Christians, "good" ones, yet tight-knit relationships are an on-going problem. I have hope and faith, though, that relationships will prosper on God's timing. ?!? ~ Amy the New Yorker
Astute observations from both of you! Fear, societal itchy-trigger finger against any form of "intrusion"--the deck is all too stacked against forming relationships essential to being human. (and nice synthesis of the last three weeks of Ecclesiastes discussion, Amy!)
Ironic and interesting story today about isolation: http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/07/31/
lonely.nation.ap/index.html
(how do you do html tags in comments on Blogger?)
it's not isolated (ha!) to the 20/30-something demographic. Both a comment in this article and something I heard second-hand from an editorial from the late, Meg Greenfield: we place such a premium on finding a mate that we lose touch with a whole support-structure; in turn we put so much pressure on the mate to provide everything we need--a level of pressure no marriage was meant to bear without the help of said support structure. As if to say (or ask rhetorically), are you as committed to pursuing some "providential friendships" as you are to finding someone with whom to share the rest of your life in the exclusive context of marriage?
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